Some people are born with sisters. I
gave birth to a pair of them myself, and I'm always telling them how
lucky they are, that "your sister is the best friend that God chose
for you"....and I believe that, even though it sounds like a load of crap your mother would feed you. So when my ever-inquisitive Sara was
asking me the other day if I was sad not to have a sister of my own,
I said no without hesitation...and I explained that there are also sisters that
God brings to you. I am blessed beyond measure to have FIVE such soul
sisters...and I'd like to tell you about them.
Bethie is pretty legit. I may not have
grown up with her, but she is every bit as much my sister as if I
had, and for a time, she even bore that legal distinction. She was
there when my eldest daughter was born. When she and my brother
divorced after spending nearly a decade together, she retained
unofficial custody of me and my girls, and she has been a constant blessing to
us all. It's funny, because people often think we are sisters in the traditional sense, and are always telling us how much we look alike. (Lots of people have dark brown hair, folks. We don't all look alike...but she's gorgeous, so I'll take it, even if it's inaccurate.) She is probably my closest confidante and she has never EVER
judged me for anything I've said or done...and trust me, there is
plenty of shit I'm NOT proud of...nor have I ever judged her. In so
many ways, our recent histories closely parallel one another. That's
the thing about Beth...she just GETS it. She's been there and she
knows and she loves me, come what may, no questions asked.
Ashley also came to me by way of a
break-up...I met her years ago as the new and extremely badass girlfriend of my buddy,
Clayton. After a couple of years, she and Clayton imploded, and
frankly, I think she was shocked when I called to ask how she was
doing. She automatically assumed custody would revert back to
Clayton, since I was friends with him first...but in all honesty...I
sort of thought he was a jerk to her. So for awhile, I was her
sounding board, and we became friends in our own right. She also has
never imposed an ounce of judgment on any of my bad decisions...never made me feel bad for going back to The Nurse over
and over, and always listened when he broke me, every time. She just
helped me put myself back together. Then came Michael...no one had my
back quite the way she did. She may have even saved my life, and has never made me feel stupid for any of my choices...even the clearly stupid ones. You don't find that every day.
Adrienne and I essentially grew up
together. We met back in the stone age, schlepping overpriced
enchiladas for an obscenely small paycheck and drinking cheap beer
together on the weekends with our then-boyfriends, who eventually became our husbands. Fast forward
nearly 20 years, and between us we've racked up three marriages,
three divorces, three children, a string of dating disasters, and a
hell of a lot of good stories. We talk almost every day, and I can
always count on her for no-holds-barred opinions and advice, because
I know she'll still see me as the same girl at the end of the
day...older and (hopefully) wiser, but essentially the same girl who could hit
the glass every time playing quarters.
Deanna is perhaps my biggest inspiration. She's been
through many of the same things I have...she's been through a lot
worse than I have in SO many ways...and she found herself along the
way, and came out stronger, happier, better, and more beautiful in
every possible way. She talks straight. She gives advice when she
can, usually based on her own experiences. And when I screw up, she still
gives me her love and respect...and that means so much, because she's
one of the strongest women I know. She pursues her dreams
relentlessly and is 100% true to herself along the way and I love her
for it.
Last, but by no means least, there is
April. How we met sounds like really bad fiction, as she pretty much
hated me on sight...which is a story for another day. Or maybe it's the
premise of a great novel...I'm not sure. But while I was understandably
wary of her, I could also clearly see that she was one of the most
witty, spirited, and intelligent people I had ever encountered. As
the frost melted away, and I saw her for who she is, I was even more
impressed...not only does she keep me in stitches, she is fun and
incredibly loyal, and the best Plus One a girl could ask for. She's
not afraid to tell me when I'm being an asshole, and those moments of
assholiness don't change her overall opinion of me...which is probably why I
value her opinion so much. (Plus, she comes with a seriously cool
sister of her own, and who doesn't love a package deal?) I can't even
imagine my life without her in it anymore...which is crazy,
considering that 12 months ago, she thought I was Satan's mistress.
(Actually, wait....I kind of was for awhile...)
And so, to my beautiful youngest
daughter....you are SO lucky to have a sister for life. I was
thrilled to have two daughters, because I wanted you both to have
that. But I can honestly say, the family you make for yourself and
the sisters that the universe puts in your path are every bit as
special. You may find them in unexpected places...they may be
completely different from you—and from each other—but you'll
recognize them by the unconditional love they give you. (Also, if you
ever need to hide a body, you can totally call one of them.)
**Obviously, these are not my only
friends. I am a lucky, lucky girl with a lot of great people in my
life, and everybody brings something amazing to the table, and I in
no way want to discount that...and many of them I am also incredibly
close to. But there are some things in life that are constant and
essentially unchanging, which is the point I was trying to make to my
Chicken, and why these five, in particular, came up. Blood or no
blood, a sister always has your back, never judges you, and loves you
when you make an ass of yourself. These are mine. :)
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