She's Not Here.

You're looking for the girl who writes this blog? The funny brunette, right? The sarcastic girl with all the opinions?

She's not here.

I don't know when she'll be back. I don't know when she'll be funny again. I don't know when--or how--she'll pick herself up this time. I don't know how many times one person can be broken and still manage to put herself back together. Maybe she can do it again. Maybe she can't. Maybe she's busy watching an entire television series on netflix in between crying jags. Or maybe she'll become agoraphobic and start collecting cats. Maybe she'll take up knitting and crossword puzzles or start collecting tiny figurines. Maybe she'll disappear into a bottle of wine. Maybe she'll eat her way back, and eventually require a mobility scooter just to get around the grocery store, because her stomach hangs down to her knees.

I know you have faith in her...after all, she's the resourceful type. But this time, she's as broken as she's ever been...her heart, her spirit, and her trust all shattered in one fell swoop. There is no cure for having virtually everything taken, including your pride...

Each time she puts herself back together, she's a little different. The pieces don't quite fit the same way. Maybe you'll recognize her. Maybe you won't.

All I know is, she's not here.