HR Blues

Have we met? I'm the bitch.

At least, sometimes...you see, I work in a small company, and I AM the entire Human Resources Department. This means I get to do a lot of really cool stuff like interview people and hire them. I get to hand out paychecks and make the case for everyone's raises and bonuses, which I've *almost* always won. Mostly, my job involves a bunch of paperwork, which isn't exactly fun.

Sometimes, I get to really make a difference...like when an employee is upset or having personal issues and they let me help. I've taken people to the ER, gotten them squeezed in for Dr appointments, obtained professional advice on their behalf, called in favors, calculated due dates, and let them crash at my house. I actually love them...every single person at that office.

But still, in the grand tradition of HR managers worldwide...I think mostly everyone just sees the bitch.

I get it...it's always me who brings the hammer. I handle the write ups. I do the verbal warnings. I tell you that your day off isn't going to be approved this time. It's hard to see me as anything but the Bearer of Bad News. The one who says no...the one who does the dirty work.

It still surprises me sometimes. I try not to take it personally...but the walls are incredibly thin...there are some undeniably awful things said about me when they think no one is listening. But someone almost always is...you would think I was Satan's right hand man. You would think I loathed them all and enjoyed torturing small children in my spare time.

It's a common problem among HR staffers. I just wish that before someone goes and pops off about what soulless bitches we are, they'd take a second and try to put themselves in our shoes.

There are a few things we'd like you to know:

10. We are not having fun.

9. This is the worst part of our job, hands-down.

8. Even when we overhear or have it reported to us that you called us a soulless bitch, we still love you.

7. We are only the messengers. Sometimes we agree with the message. Sometimes we don't. Either way, our job is to deliver it.

6. All HR people have hidden in the bathroom and cried a time or two after having to do something difficult. 

5. We have to fire people sometimes. Do you have any idea what that's like? Because it sucks. And honestly, we hope you never have to find out how awful it is, because we wouldn't wish it on anyone.

4. We have things going on in our lives that cause us pain, too. Being called names and having people talk shit? Not particularly helpful...

3. This may not be what we set out to do when we started college. (I wanted to teach.)

2. Sometimes--just sometimes--you could try to look at the situation from a perspective other than your own.

1. We are infinitely human.